His safe place to land
by ShadowsOnTheMoon
Summary: His last chance to prove himself is a heart-to-heart with the one person who wants nothing to do with him. After what he's done, he can't blame her. But can he convince her that he's always been on her side? Or will his betrayal be enough to cause her to sever ties completely?


**This is set during 3x24, in the diner. As some of you know I'm not too happy with the Spoby reunion in S3, so here's my take on what could have happened. I am quite proud of this story, so please, if you liked it, review. I tend to mostly write multi-chapter fics, but if I see people are reading my one-shots I might write more of them. Currently I'm really in a Spoby mood, and liking working from Toby's POV, so if you guys are lucky (and review a lot) I may write some more for them soon.**

**Also, if anyone has any prompts or suggestions, including situations/couples/events (especially those to do with angst, tragedy, or drama; I don't do well with fluff/romance, but my ship preferences are flexible) PM me with them. I've been having fun writing one-shots recently, so I'll roll with it for now. Enjoy the story!**

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"Everything I've done was so I could protect you."

His words are sincere, but they have an edge of caution to them, a touch of hesitation, because he knows what he's done is unforgiveable and no apologies or explanations will be enough to convince her that he did it for her. That he'd do anything for her. He can see the guardedness in her eyes, the wariness in the way she sits, angling her body slightly away from him and glancing every now and then at the door. She would leave, he knows, if she could; but they have bigger problems now, a common enemy, and with the knowledge he's acquired on the inside he can help her take them down. She needs him, but that doesn't stop her from hating him right now.

"You need to believe me," he implores, leaning forward and catching her eye to make sure she's listening. "I never meant for it to go this far. I was only trying to help you, I swear."

"Why should I believe that?"

Her words freeze in the air between them, and when they reach his ears they're as bitter and biting as ice. He leans back, as if putting more distance between them will convince her that he's on her side, that he always was, that she can let her guard down and let her heart thaw a little.

"Because it's the truth. I haven't always been honest with you, but you've always been able to tell if I'm lying. Look me in the eyes. Tell me if I'm telling the truth."

She waits, letting the silence stretch on. Every nerve in his body is tingling, and his heart is hammering so fast he wraps his arms around himself to try to get it to stop. If she thinks he's lying, there's nothing to stop her from walking out that door and never looking back. She has the potential to be great, to do anything she sets her mind to – god, if he knows one thing about her, it's that; she never gives up and she never backs down, and she always gets what she wants – and she may not need him for that.

At one point, he'd actually let himself believe that she needed him, that he was essential to her. But now he sees he's not. She could leave right now and still be whole, but as soon as that door closes behind her he knows he'd lose a part of himself. He never meant for it to be like this, never thought they'd end up this close, but now they are, now he knows what he'd be missing, he can't bear the thought of her not being in his life anymore.

"I believe you," she says, but there's no softness, no warmth in her voice. "I just don't think I can trust you."

"What can I do to prove myself to you?" The words sit there on the table, and she can either pick them up or throw them on the floor. She has every right to refuse, and he won't be surprised if she swipes the words away and never speaks to him again. After what he's done, how can he ever prove himself to her?

She clasps her hands on the table, lowering her black hood over her face as if she's suddenly worried someone might be watching them. Then she meets his eyes and says, "Tell me everything you found out while you were on _her_ side."

She can't say the other girl's name, and he doesn't blame her. That _other _girl is the reason she almost lost him, the reason he lied to her and went behind her back and the reason they're sitting in this diner having a heart-to-heart when they really should be out searching for the real enemy. If only he'd figured out his loyalties sooner. He could have saved her so much pain.

But as he recounts his tale, of love and loss and divided loyalties, as he tells her all he found out and all he suspects, as he offers to help her in whatever way she needs, he notices that the pain in her eyes has lessened. His intel is valuable, and if he can play double agent he can get her even more information. He can see her weighing this in her head: her frustration with his apparent betrayal against his value as a potential ally in these turbulent times. Logic wins out, and she begrudgingly allows him to finish his story.

"I've always been on your side," he says in conclusion, and for just an instant he thinks she believes it. Her expression softens, and even the shadows dancing across her face don't disguise the smile that tugs at her lips.

"I hoped you'd say that." She schools her face into a neutral expression again, but it seems more familiar, more like the girl he's spent hours talking to and sitting in comfortable silence with, and less like the girl whose heart he'd broken when she found out about his indiscretions. "But the thing is, Toby," she goes on, keeping her face neutral and her voice steady, "while I understand why you made this choice, the fact that you did it without me…"

"It wasn't a choice," he interrupts quickly. "I didn't have any other options. If I'd had a choice, I would never have gone against you -"

"Still." She becomes guarded again, and he knows she's trying to decide whether she can trust him, whether it's worth giving him a second chance or if she should just make a clean break, leave his mess of a heart behind and find someone better. "I need to know whose side you're on. But before that, _you_ need to know whose side you're on. Figure it out, Toby."

She gets to her feet, tosses her napkin down on the table, and then pauses.

"And figure it out soon, okay? I need to know by tomorrow. If you're on my side, we need to make plans to end this all. And if you're not… well, I think I deserve to know that too."

Then she heads for the door. He stares after her, frozen not by indecision but by fear. He's always known whose side he was on. He was confused, that's all, momentarily distracted by something he thought he wanted. But this is what he _needs_, and he can't just let her walk out the door.

He jumps up and hurries after her, catching up with her just at the door. His hand shoots out to grab her arm, and she turns around, looking at him in surprise and with thinly disguised hope swimming in her eyes.

"I don't need until tomorrow," he says softly. "My heart is with her, but my loyalty has always been with you. I'll do what I need to do."

She rests a gloved hand on his cheek, and this time a smile doesn't just tug at her lips. It spreads across her face, transforming her from an almost-stranger into someone he knows almost better than he knows himself.

"I knew you'd make the right choice," she whispers, pulling open the door and letting a gust of cold air in. She turns back to him again, her eyes no longer guarded and her manner no longer hesitant. "Thank you for being on my side."

"Thank you for giving me a second chance," he replies, cupping her hand in his. A heartbeat passes, and his grip strengthens, as if by doing so he'll be able to convey his determination, his loyalty, his commitment. He takes a deep breath, knowing that once he says these words he won't be able to go back. But that's okay, because this is what he was always meant to do. "We can do this together. I promise I won't let you down, Mona."

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**SPOILER.**

**You all thought it was Spencer, didn't you? It wasn't.  
Toby wasn't apologizing for working with Mona; he was apologizing for loving Spencer.  
Twist, huh? How'd I go? Had you fooled, right?**


End file.
